seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
