Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
