He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Why can't burritos get me drunk
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
