$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
