A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
