Slut skills are useful in every country.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
