I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
