Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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