Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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