I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
