Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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