some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
two words...techno handjob
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
