We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Green mimosas i think yes
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
