Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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