non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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