At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
