just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
