My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
