this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
