dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
