I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
