Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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