I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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