Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I would fuck him just for his dog
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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