ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We have so much sex to catch up on
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
