Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
