dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
