just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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