Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
