Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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