Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
