Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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