Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
