Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
