Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
