Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
