fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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