Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
