So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
