just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
