I want you more than these girls want KFC
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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