I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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