problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
