The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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