I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
