New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
