Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
