We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
