Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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