The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
