Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
